Why Momentum is key: The domino effect. Why we must not rely Soley on Motivation.

Time and time again, I’ve learned how powerful momentum is. Do not underestimate momentum. What i mean by this is: one simple habit or routine can be that energy that keeps the ball rolling in the right direction. Gives you a feeling of pride. Makes you feel accomplished. Gives you a sense of purpose. Just simply the feeling from ____ activity and what it can do for events to come. Momentum is everything.

You know as well as me, there are days where “motivation” is not present. You aren’t too fired up. You’re not hard charging or feeling like you can conqueror the day. Congratulations: you’re a normal human being. This is not a problem. Every day does not feel like we’re standing on the top of Mount Everest.

What do you do when you don’t feel like doing it? Do you skip breakfast because you aren’t “feeling it.” Do you skip morning cardio because you don’t “feel like doing it.” Do you not text your grandmother Good morning because you aren’t “feeling like it.” Do you not go to the grovery store and buy fresh food but instead eat mcdonalds because you arent “feeling like it.”

You get where I’m going here.

We’re emotional creatures. We rely lots of feelings. This is a beautiful part of us. the ability to feel is powerful. Its necessary. But it can be limiting from a personal development standpoint. We fall into the laziness category at one point. All of a sudden: we’re moving further and further away from activities that are going to make us better.

Personally: I’ve talked about swimming for 4-6 months. “I got to get into it some day.” Proceeding to talk about all the benefits and BS with people at the gym about it. “ya man, it would be great.” “Ya man, you can swim until the day you die.” All the reasoning behind it.

But are you going to do it?

Here is where momentum comes into place. I could feel this feeling in my stomach that knew the activity was uncomfortable. I was partially dreading the activity. I don’t know if the feeling came from it being a new activity, it being challenging, or a mixture of the both. All I knew was: I had ZERO motivation to attempt swimming. I finally sat down and wrote it down. I will swim. I will walk through the doors and put my stuff into the locker. I will wear my sandals into the pool area. I will take it slow at first and then swim harder. 20-30 minutes.

I went and did it.

And i did another session today.

Guess what? The challenge increased my motivation. I felt free like a dolphin in the water. It also increased my motivation because I felt this desire after to get better, faster, and better my form.

Momentum. We built it and now the ball is rolling.

Does it sound like I’m going to stop any time soon? Not after buying my monthly pass to a new gym with a pool and steam room, not after pushing myself and wanting to get better.

Momentum.

This is just one example. When we dig a little further past the “feeling stage” of physical training, we can sometimes be surprised. We build resilience when we do things like we don’t always feel like doing.

How else does this create momentum? Now I’m super charged leaving the pool. The chemical releases in my brain have me feeling higher than the clouds. I’m more likely to be higher energy for my tasks ahead. Motor functions are firing, and the day is a little less sluggish. Blood is PUMPIN.

Momentum.

You create it or forever be a statue.

the choice is yours.

No cell phone 1 hour prior to sleep or 1 hour post awakening. Heal your brain. Eliminate Anxiety and prepare it for success.

Lets first set the context: Yes, i will use the phone for communication to a close one or loved one, but I will completely eliminate all interaction outside of that. EX: no social media or internet scrolling before bed or to start the day. Yes, my phone is on ringer, but that is exclusive most of the time for a phone call. I usually avoid texting early morning or late night. I don’t want to give off the impression that I’m unreachable. But i do want to make it clear that interaction late night or early morning is EXCLUSIVE to individuals in my INNER CIRCLE ONLY.

WHY? Humans since the beginning of time gathered in tribes. We sat around fire at nighttime and Interated with the ones we trusted, created a life with, smiled and laughed with, and loved deeply. Transition this to modern day: Its nighttime. Maybe you’re enjoying dinner with your spouse or kids. Maybe you’re reading and playing games with your children or roommate. Maybe you’re eating and gathering, or praying together. Maybe you’re enjoying a nice relaxing hot shower or bath. Maybe you’re simply at your apartment alone enjoying a movie or a puzzle. PRE BEDTIME activities since the beginning of time have been CALMING. Dim lights. Cool temperatures. Calm slow movement. All actions to tell our bodies that it’s time to transition toward calm and to prepare for rest in the upcoming hours. I don’t know about you: but enhancing the chances of having high quality sleep sounds absolutely phenomenal.

Guess what? Your body and mind LOVE ROUTINES. Once you practice this for just 1 week, it starts to become familiar and really starts working extremely well. You will start noticing a sense of calm and parasympathetic calming energy amongst your psyche arising naturally because your mind and body already know what is coming. They know at 8:30 PM, we dim the lights, cool the apartment temperature, take a hot shower, potentially pray for some people, and slow life down a bit. We don’t scroll the internet and give it 1,000 things to focus on and ponder about in our minds.

Now, i hear this often: I have trouble sleeping. i don’t feel fresh in the morning. it takes forever for me to go to sleep. I proceed to ask people what their nighttime routine looks like, and they’re most likely not checking some of those boxes from the “mental calming actions” standpoint. Again, lets take responsibility of our lives and do what it takes to increase our chances of a successful night’s rest.

Lets fast forward to morning routines: Lets appreciate this simple concept. Its 6:30 AM. You open your eyes in bed. We would all agree that we would all want to have a good, low anxiety, feel good day correct? Well, what does a good day IMMEDITATELY LOOK LIKE? Again: Lets take responsibility for CREATING A GOOD DAY. First: we wake up early enough to not be power walking and flying around your apartment to rush out of the door. If this is you, you’re programming your mind from the get go to operate anxious, full speed and high heart rate. Doesn’t sound fun does it? So WAKE UP EARLIER. Next: If you’re reaching for the cell phone as an automatic response and immediately scrolling social media, text messages, news, and entertainment: you just reenforced a automatic response that heightens anxiety, depression, and several other chemicals in the brain that influence your thoughts patterns. lets take a step back. Instead of grabbing that cell phone, what if we went directly to your living room, let some sunlight into the place, drank a nice large glass of water, sat down and breathed slowly and sat in meditative calm for at least a few minutes. Sounds a bit more in control and zen doesn’t it?

I’m not saying everyone needs to be a monk or a deep meditator in the morning. For you: it could me stepping outside for some fresh air. Making yourself a good breakfast. Playing some calming music that makes you feel good. Simply creating your own unique custom morning routine that sets you up for calm, love, and peace to start the day.

YOU TIME. your late night and early mornings are YOU TIME.

Once we become more intentional about our pre bed and awakening routine, we start noticing lots more calm, focus and feel good energy. Both nighttime and morning time are powerful moments of our days. Everything causes something.

Once you start taking responsivity of your routines, your entire life will change. Give it one week. You will notice massive differences just that quickly.

People want the perfect diet, workout, supplements but don’t want to FIRST look at the routines in their lives. Let’s first REVERSE ENGINEER our routines before we dig into the additions or complexity.

Hope this put things into perspective very well to help enhance the quality of your lives. This intention has not only changed my life for the better but its even more rewarding when I hear about success stories of other people, and when I can notice a higher sense of calm in their presence. Now you’re educated. Go do something with it.

A letter to the 12 year old version of myself: In the Midst of Trauma. Psychological Reassurance. Reverse Engineering your life

BACK STORY:

Little Chas. 12 year old. 5 feet 5 inches, 130 lbs. 5th/6th grade Chas. Previously went to Lincoln elementary in Lakewood from 3rd-5th grade. And now switching to Rocky River Middle School for 6th grade. Temporarily living with my grandparents for all of 6th grade. Living away from all of my 4 siblings. All of us living with either Aunts/Uncles/cousins/grandparents.

First thing that comes to mind: confusion. family and friend separation. abandonment. lack of confidence. The stress of switching schools. lack of direction. no clear plan for the future.

Just one of our many abandonment phases during our adolescence. Very traumatic time as 6th grade approached. 5 of us siblings + our Mother. All together under one roof. Strong. Building. Growing. and Boom. all separated. Mother mentally instable and non existent. Selling everything in our house. Bikes. toys. All gone. starting over. No more “i love You’s.” No more reassurance. No more affirmation. No more being held and touched.

I remember in this time my deep need to keep us together. to know what my siblings were doing and to call them, see them, and keep this number one priority in the back of my mind, “we need to be together.” I never developed resentment during this time for my Mother. Just simply thinking, “we will be back together, she didn’t mean for this to happen.” As a 6th grade kid, this sort of gave me lots of perspective when getting pulled away from things that you really love. it also made me desire love to a unhealthy degree because the lack of it in that stage of life. It changed my perception on what love actually is and what it means.

I remember the courts being involved. Family services. Allowing us siblings to see our Mother once in awhile in some public soulless room in downtown Cleveland. This carried on for 1 year or so. It smelled horrible. had a depressing feeling to it. Lots of confusion, but some simply affirmation when we would meet along the lines of “we will be back together soon.” Thats most of what I can remember.

I remember how this translated to my day-to-day emotional stability as I went about 6th grade. i remember having many moments of highs, but also extreme lows. I remember how personal i would take put downs at school or how I would let the littlest thing ruin my day. i didn’t have the confidence or strength/resilience during this time to stay ahead of the day’s stresses. It was hard to see big picture because of the trauma in that stage. It made me naturally de value commitment and keep this “victim mindset.” Inability to step aside from harsh words or tough situations. I would carry that energy with me. Buildup of frustration. “why me.” “All of this is BS.” etc.

This naturally made me less confident. less likely to step up and be a leader. Less likely to initiate and really get ahead of the game. I was naturally more of a follower in this stage.

Lets circle back to the affirmative/reassurance part of this article:

A letter to the 12 year old version of Chas:

Chas man. Its really hard for you to see this right now and this might not make sense for years. I want you to realize everything that you will always need is there with you. You are loved even when you don’t feel loved. You have a guardian angel carrying over you that is keeping you safe. You might feel alone, but some day you’re going to grow into the leader you always imagined growing into. head up. eye contact. speaking with confidence. bringing light to every situation. You are going to be this man some day. And it is possible for you to practice all of these things right now. because guess what? everything you become is what you practice. You become the man you want to be by what you doing every damn day. you are enough. you are loved. you do deserve the best. Right now, I need you to believe that you are going to make a difference and that you are a valuable human. everything that steps in your way and tries to bring you down is just energy that doesn’t even deserve the time or day or waste of breath. you are a natural born leader and you have so much to offer this world. sometimes you’re going to feel alone when you separated from your mother and siblings. this doesn’t mean that your soul is not with you. you have something unique that no one else in the world has. your purpose is different than everyone else’s on this planet. Someday you’re going to impact people heavily. you’re going to do everything you can to feel your best and to naturally inspire everyone around you to feel their best. Your smile radiates peace and love. your heart is what guides you. listen to it. Every damn day, keep practicing giving back with your heart. When you’re on your death bed some day, you aren’t going to remember 6th grade bully’s. You’re going to remember what your heart wants you to remember. Lead with it. it will fulfill you and give you everything you need. Everything that brings you even the slightest amount of joy is meant for you and your day. Do not give up on things that make you happy. When life gets crazy, stick even harder to the commitments and things you love. Get your ass in the gym, because guess what? Some day ur gonna be shredded year round and have abs that show 24/7. Hell ya brother. that is you. Big picture my man. let this letter be the reminder that you’re going to grow into everything you expect yourself to be. Your siblings will be successful. They will be okay. Some day you’re all going to be adults and you’re going to be smiling, laughing, and creating experiences and traditions together. You will do whatever it takes to find peace. For now, you need to be the best version of you. confident. eyes on the prize. heart on fire. feet on the ground. No matter where you are, keep growing in self work. Be a singer. be a athlete. be a weight lifter. be a journaler. be a musician. Everything you want to be starts right now man. because in 10 years, you’re not going to care what anyone thinks. You’re going to realize that whatever you needed to be happy only matters to you. I know you want that one person by your side to hold you, kiss you on the forehead and tell you how special you are. close your eyes. imagine this. God is here with you. he always has been. You’re going to realize this some day. keep praying. keep practicing gratitude. its going to pay off down the road brother. you got this dude. lets go get it. No excuses. keep doing good and keep making yourself better. communicate your needs. talk about your feelings. write them down more in a journal when you’re not ready to talk about them just yet. don’t hid from them. all the pain is okay. nothing is good or bad. its all apart of what we need to feel. hold those tougher moment gently and be kind to yourself. they’re temporary. like waves. you’re always going to be alright man. lets keep on moving.

Counting Our Blessings: Acknowledgement of present moment gratitude + How I pray with vulnerability.

Are you only bringing to light what mistakes were made? Are you only bringing to light the criticism toward ongoing things that we might slightly take for granted? Sometimes lots of good can be in our lives, but when that good has been around for awhile, it can seem just a little more usual and familiar than that initial time that good stepped right into your life. What I mean by this is: acknowledgement lights up people’s worlds. Something good in our lives never has to become boring or overlooked. Transfer this same concept to the people we have in our lives. Think about how good it makes them feel when they’re heard, seen, noticed, or you can acknowledge something and make it feel fresh once again. Making that magical sparkle come alive time and time again.

With prayer, I’ve noticed there is a part of me sometimes that wants to hold back on verbalizing out loud what my current blessings are. What i mean by this is: Sometimes i sorta get that feeling, “God sees this, he knows what I am thinking, we’re good.” The reality is: that’s a little part of me that is resisting having that conversation and talking out loud to him, because it really does get vulnerable when we drop our guards, and have an out loud conversation with God. I’ve noticed when life gets a little tough, being able to verbalize that gratitude out loud to him can be freeing. I end up having lots of conversations with him when i take hot showers at night. dim lit or in the dark. Totally relaxing, sitting still in there and breathing. Laying it all out on the table. the tougher and the easier but continuing to always thank him for the good that was apart of my day and the good that is to come.

There’s something to be said about setting this as the standard. helping reprogram our mind to focus a bit more on the light. I don’t know about you, but lately there has been lots of amazing things happening in my life, but there are still tough things that I deal with. Things that come in waves and bring us down for a little while. Some things that take a little more time to process. Some things we don’t always have the words for. This is where the conversations with God really come into play. I’ll say things like, “things feel _________, and I don’t really understand lots at this moment, but i do ask that you stay here closer to me while i find calm, stillness, and a little self love to do the trick while i heal from this tough situation that is occurring. we’re always healing from something. and that’s okay.” its not that we always have this big solution, but sometimes asking God to stay close, verbalizing out loud how we feel, and giving thanks for the strength to go through these challenges can go a very long way.

once again: I hope this short passage helps inspire people to not take the small things for granted. listen to how you feel. understand it. don’t talk poorly about our feelings. they’re parts of our soul that are speaking to us. sometimes when things are tough, it can be very hard to see the good. its almost like our mind is familiarizing with pain and tough, and seeing the opposite end of the spectrum as something so distant. the reality is: the good is not distant. The good is right there. rub a little dust off of it, because there are several things right in front of you that are blessings. when things are tougher, do some good for yourself. trust that time will balance things out. it will all be alright.

Our Grandma Sue – Obituary/Remembrance

I know many others would have several great things to say, but this will be written from my perspective specifically and I hope you enjoy it. Virgina Sue Strnad. Or as I call her, “Grandma Sue.” A true giving woman from what I knew her to be. Over time, she let me in a little bit on what her earlier years looked like. Very independent into her teenage years. Taking the bus to work, home after school and independent because of parent work schedules. I never really got to know too much about her early childhood or what life looked like as a teenager. I do know that she met my Grandpa jack when she was right around the age of 18. I believe he was closer to 30 at the time. She thought so highly of him. So loyal. So In love. She even made it clear that as their relationship progressed, there was a bit of alcoholism on jack’s end that soon came to a halt. He loved her so much and wanted a future family with her, that he was willing to do that to stay loyal and clear minded for His and Sue’s relationship. Grandma sue always had such nice things to say about people. I spent so many nights laying on the couch and walking game shows with her. Sleeping over there. Completely feeling calm and at home when spending time in her presence. Always giving me the updates on her cats. One at her left arm rest. One at her right arm rest. And one behind her head at the chair she loved to sit in by the TV. i remember I would stop by at the most random times with friends, and they would feel so welcome. We would be passing through Lakewood, and my buddies would always look forward to saying hi to her. They said “Grandma sue was a classic grandma.” They just loved seeing her.  Once in awhile she would come out in public to go out to eat or spend some time at the park. She was a very simple woman. She didn’t need much. She just loved the time that we were willing to share with her. I can’t remember her once asking me for anything. She always seemed so content with life with having the simplest of things. her voice was always so calm. She was a great listener. I could bring anything to her from anxious to calm, and she would help reduce my anxieties by simply having a conversation. She was good at keeping it about others. She always had so many questions to ask. She wanted to dive deeper into your life and really make you feel heard and seen. I remember when I was a kid, she would cook lots more often when Grandma jack was around. She would host some of the family events. She really liked bringing the family together. She always inspired me to keep my siblings close to me and stay loyal to what we have together. I remember she would come to family events. She would always be such a good observer. She would pick her spot at the party and she would stay there the entire time. I remember she would go, “hey Chas, can you make me a plate.” I would proceed to fix something up and she would remain in that spot she had chosen. One after another coming up to her to say hi and spend time with her. I remember how dearly she talked about her Daughters Jane and Linda and her Son Jeff. She would talk about her grandchildren Amber, Lyle, Ryan, Eve, Chas, Lance, Miles, Aris, Vayda oh so much. She would talk about her cousins and even her mother time to time. There was so much she valued from a family standpoint. She always had something good to stay about all of us. She taught really good lessons of patience. She taught really good lessons of love and calm. She was always this level headed safe place that you could go to spend time if you needed to slow life down a bit. It was always welcoming to be in her presence. It was also pretty hysterical how blunt she would be sometimes. She would see something a certain way, and just say it how it is.  It would be so honest that it was hard to hear. Even embarrassing at times. But we always ended up laughing after she would make some of these brutally honest comments. Respected her ability to just acknowledge things. She was always concerned about her family as equally. She truly from the bottom of her heart did not want anyone to suffer. I could feel it in her presence. I could see it in her eyes. She would empathize very well with someone no matter the deep pain or the high pleasure. She would give u the biggest smile and encouragement when hearing about your wins, but would also make u feel comforted and not alone when you were struggling. She was a spot on great grandmother to the family. Her intentions were so pure and she was so consistent with the unconditional love that she offered the family. Every family has some sort of disfunction, but it always seemed like Grandma sue stayed consistent from a level of support despite the struggles and challenges that anyone in our family was having. She would give you the time of day and would also give you a few bucks if you really needed help toward something. I know she helped many of us out at several different points. Anything she could do to reduce the stress of what we were going through. Every time I left her place, it was a kiss on the cheek, followed by some sort of little set of words from her to me. “You’re a good boy Chas.” “You’re doing the right things Chas.” “You’re a good brother to your siblings.” “Be nice to your cats. They love you.” The list goes on. So many simple reassuring affirmations that made you feel complete when you said goodbye to her. She left you with a feeling. In this world of flashy, technology and everything else, she could so simply give you love and some encouragement with a smile and that would go so far. We could all be al little bit more like Grandma Sue. Active listening. Pausing and focusing on calm. Simply smiling for the simplest of things in our lives. Loving our pets that we have at home. Making sure the closer ones in our lives are doing okay. She was a good person. It shows even after shes gone. She left me with a feeling. One that im reminded of randomly as I go about my life. The feeling is sort of a “don’t let Grandma Sue’s efforts and lessons she taught go unnoticed.” Keep giving the world a little bit of what Grandma sue gave to the world. That is within me as well as all of us in the Strnad Family. She wants us to be better and wants us to do good. We owe that to her. Grandma sue passed in the most recent on the same exact day that her husband Jack passed away years ago. I hope for for this to be some closure for the familiy. To realize this coincidence is something far past what this physical world could offer. Theres a higher power and something spiritual behind what happened. She wasn’t alone when she left this world. That is all I know. Let this letter be a little bit of closure to a little bit of what Grandma sue did for us.  We owe the impact on our future legacy. We owe the impact with our unique purposes to make this world a better place. Grandma sue is in each of us and thats what makes every day special. We’re here not onliy because she created this legacy, but also because we took the opportunity and made our lives better. Continued to build. Grandma sue wants us to keep our tribe strong. She wants us to look out for eachother. She wants us to come back to simplicity when life moves a little too fast. Sometimes you just need a little bit of your pets and a feel good tv show. She is here. everyday. With each of us.

Dream Interpretation: Being Chased/Running in your dreams

Had a dream last night that I was being chased aggressively by someone trying to stab me with a knife. I remember my mom in the dream trying to protect me and stand in front. The guy with a knife sort of swerved my mom and kept after me. I remember in the dream my inability to defend the guy with a knife. I looked up dream meaning, and the meaning of being chased has to do with

  • anxious about something
  • experiencing heightened or ongoing stress
  • worried about an upcoming event
  • wishing to avoid something you’d rather not face
  • overwhelmed with responsibilities

I initially can see how lots of this could be coming from the added responsibility on my plate and awareness to managing stress. Being able to step back more and allow a little more time to settle down at nighttime. but then in the dream, I sort of remember my deep concern for my mom. I sense some sort of, me being the oldest sibling and some sort of responsibility to step up to the plate as a leader. So naturally the dream had something to do with the stresses and worry on my responsibilities and making sure im attending to them but also not sacrificing my mental being. Sort of interesting to dive through it. It sorta set me Monday off to a weird start, but helped me realize that there’s an adjustment period going on right now with the coaching/work and life all in one. I guess ive been feeling a little bit struggling recently with the added responsibility. Part of that coming from lack of opening up and releasing some of the stress/concerns that im battling internally. So I guess it feels good to write this out and share it. Adjustment periods for our bodies and minds when we add more to our plate. Our mind and bodies like routines. they adjust and set them as a new standard. Writing this out simply helps me bring awareness to this concept: when things are changing in our lives, don’t take for granted the ability to set aside some time for calm and slowing life down a bit. the last thing we want is to add more and more to our plate and feel like life is moving in fast forward. Quality of life with diminish, and next thing we know, 10 days has went by and we’ve forgotten what we even did the last 10 days. Its completely necessary to set aside time for stillness, quiet and reflection. im reminded of this many times now as the responsibilities of adult life continue to remain present.

I’ve learned we have to take the time to understand how we feel. understand what is going on inside our brains. if we do not, the stresses and build up of it all come out in the wrong ways through anger and other unfavorable ways to express things. Next thing we know, we are losing control and overreacting to the soap in your kitchen being misplaced. so simple, yet the build up of the non understanding and lack of reflection comes out in the dumbest ways. You argue with your GF over the remote and where its placed on the table. sometime absolutely small.. but it didn’t stem from the actual remote being misplaced. it stemmed from lack of reflection and slowing life down a bit. now the build up of stresses came out on the remote and your gf. The lack of understanding released itself uncontrollably.

take the time to understand. be still. find calm. think through things. go for a walk. find the alone time. it will heal you.

Confidence Skill Set: Head up – Eye contact – Ask questions

I sit here and think about every single way in which I developed a new relationship, learned something new, or just opened up doors to new opportunity.

It all comes back to confidence.

let’s change the perspective in which we look at the word confidence. Lets purely look at it as a skill. Something that can be improved up. This has me thinking back to my gamming days when I played “Runescape;” the hours I spent trying to grow my skill level in fishing, wood cutting, mining, etc. The game taught us that we had to put in the work to evolve and develop these skill sets that opened up more doors as we reached higher and higher levels.

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. We aren’t all nature born confidence creatures. Lets look at it in the same way that I used to look at skill sets with Runescape:

What can we do to level up our confidence skill set?

Eye contact and posture: How often do you walk around in walmart, chipotle, and the gas station and all you see is people hunched over staring at the ground while they go on with their business? lets look at this from a primal standpoint: This would designate a submissive posture. A weaker posture that immediately displays lack of confidence, power, or ability compared to another animal. Maybe the motive from that indiviaul is to display the appearance that shows “hey, i don’t want to be approached, nor do I want to engage in any type of interaction.” Now, that is simply fine. But this whole post is about confidence and how we can become better at that skill.

Even as much as I practice the skill of upright posture, and good eye contact, it is still hard at times. There are days where I feel less confident. Days where I feel a part of me wanting to avoid people and simple needing alone time. THIS IS OKAY. The habits we have a majority of the time are going to dictate what results we are obtaining. I’ve noticed the times in which my confidence improves are the times where I push myself to practice eye contact and upright posture, EVEN WHEN I DONT FEEL LIKE DOING SO.

Key word: FEELING. How often are you letting present moment feelings dictate how you’re showing up to the table?

Plan of action: I will literally self talk myself before going into situations. I will sit in my car and go, “be yourself, be confident, and keep your damn head up.

Nothing remarkable ever happened to the person with their head down face deep into their cell phone. Well except maybe getting hit by a car or throwing yourself right into the face of danger because of the lack of awareness of what is right in front of you. But hye, that’s no big deal right.

It sounds so simple. But the question is: look at your past 7 days. How often did you keep your head up when walking in public? How often did you maintain eye contact when you had a conversation with someone?

The final piece to the equation to improve the confidence skill: Ask questions

If you haven’t figured this out by now, people LOVE to talk about themselves. People want to be heard. People want to be seen. Validation is important. When meeting someone new, practicing question asking and validation goes a long way. I’ve witnessed this heavily in my 10 years of business experience.

Keep it simple:

Head up. Eye contact. Ask questions.

Very manageable. it will get easier over time.

Longevity Hack: More low intensity activity days + keeping blood sugar levels in check

“YOU HAVE TO LIFT 6 DAYS A WEEK. BULKING BRO. EAT EVERYTHING. LIFT FOR 2 HOURS IN THE GYM. SKIP CARDIO. NO DAYS OFF.”

-Congratulations. The genius plan above is officially the “7 day plan to having no sex drive, sore joints, dog shit energy, outrageous stress, and a no life balance.” VERY NICE

Funny part is: This outrageous plan is how lots of people start off their strength training journey in their teenager to early 20s.

I was one of these people. Don’t get me wrong: you don’t necessarily feel the effects of hammering the nervous system and joints when you’re 14-23. You can fall down the stairs and feel perfectly fine the next morning closer to your adolescence.

This doesn’t mean from a longevity standpoint that we should continuously beat the body down to the core just because we’re taking advantage of recovery benefits from 14-24. I am now 29. A majority of my buddies who started 10 years ago when i did are now suffering lots of consequences. Bad hips. Bad shoulders. Bad backs. Bad knees. You name it.

How have I managed to maintain a pretty healthy physical and mental health? its taken lots of undoing the damage of what I did to my body from 19-24. Add in the drinking habit with college during that time and BOOM. You’re hit your body with a nuclear bomb for a solid 5 years.

This is part of the reason I’ve became obsessed for years with massage gun work, chiropractic, epsom salt baths, stretching, yoga, focusing on upright posture, consistent supplement intake, enhancing sleep quality, and you name it.

We’re constantly healing from something. Whether its the gym, mental stress with responsibilities of life, injuries (present and past injuries), food habits that have led to skin, bone and organ damage.

Back to the overworked nervous system and gym correlation. We become obsessed with intensity at some point or another during our strength training careers. Even in all sports or anything that required high output to achieve results. We’ve all had days that have beat us up in one way or another.

While this is a good thing. Knowing when to rest is key. knowing when to take a day off and simply go for a walk, hike, or some sort of low intensity activity is very key. Skateboarding with buddies, a bike ride, yoga class, simply walking your dog. The list goes on.

To this day, I’m going to the gym 2-3 days in a row AT MOST. sometimes I’ll do: 1 day on, 1 day off. 2 days on, 1 day off. 3 days on, 2 days off. 2 days on, 2 days off. 3 days on. 3 days off. I’ve noticed this to be a sweet spot to where the joints and nervous system aren’t burnt out. I’ve paid lots of close attention to this. Also being aware to never eliminating cardio. The heart is a priority. Not only that: we need cardio and movement to help balance out those blood sugar levels and really use nutrients to our best ability from doing so and being active.

I hear people intensely lifting 4-6 days in a row and its no wounder they aren’t getting the results they want. Their muscle lacks density. They experience mid day fatigue and crashes. They wake up brain foggy in the morning and never feel quite 100% rested. They have plateaus with fat floss. On top of that, they’re putting down boat loads of calories every single day. Spiking blood sugar levels and having enormous crashes from the gut demolishing amount of food being put down. Inflammation rapid because the stomach is not handing the copious amounts of calories.

I’ve seen a balance as follows to work a bit better for most people:

Simple: Eating a little more on high activity days. Eating a little less on low activity days, working out 45 minutes-1.25 hours 3-5 times a week, and doing 4-5 exercises instead of 6-10. Even giving the stomach a little break and skipping breakfast once in awhile to achieve that 14 hour-ish fast by the time you eat lunch. Morning movement and sunlight into the eyes and skin. Boom. You’ve just increased your likelihood to feel much more amazing while also having a great life balance. Oh and the reduced stress and better recovery means you’re going to get the fat loss/ muscle building results you really wanted when you used to think you needed to “absolutely kill it 6 days a week” to obtain those results.

The answer is simple. Eat for the demands of your life. Next: work hard, but know when to tone is back. Its that simple. Humans from the beginning of time were meant to move their bodies. Period. You had to contribute to your tribe by being a active member that could give back with their skills. There’s absolutely no excuse to being a statue.

That is all for now.

Adios.

The past doesn’t need to be forgotten

Getting closer to the good. Closer to the bad. Even remove the concept of good and bad. Each part of our past was a opportunity to gain perspective. An experience. The ability to see things in a different manner. To feel them in a different way.

I’ve noticed sometimes it feels harder to think about certain emotions. But why does it have to be harder? How do we develop a different relationship with those harder feelings and thoughts so we can sit with them. Understand them a bit. Trust in the moment that they’re just thoughts. Thoughts that spark a feeling. Even though that feeling may not be pleasant, what if we sat with it and told ourselves that we would be okay? To find a little more peace with that unsettling feeling. To sit with the wave of the emotion. To realize its going to subside. Let time do its thing. Everything will be okay.

I used to be lots more judgmental of my emotions. To this day, its still a challenge sometimes. We wake up feeling a bit off, or are reminded of something that is a little unsettling with us. We all have those days. I used to look at them, and tell myself, “get it together, move on.” While this is good and very efficient and productive, it can also bury some emotions and it can make us naturally de-value the emotions that we’re experiencing. And like we’ve all came to know; When you bury them, they show up at unexpected time in usually more of a impulsive projecting manner.

Now lets clear some things up. We don’t have to speak about these emotions to everyone, make it a public announcement or blow things out of proportion. Its just simply means, that maybe through the day, we need to find a little extra calm. A few extra breaks where we take 3 minutes to just breethe. To walk outside of the office and just stand there. Breath and remind ourselves that things are okay. breath through the tougher feelings. Its hard sometimes to realize that we can’t solve or fix emotions. The solution is to simply let them calm down lots of the time. Not to draw up a mathematical equation that explains the emotion, drink a fancy cup of tea, and do yoga. It doesn’t have to be a complicated answer. While those things are great, the day to day life and regular doses of emotions that we feel are simply going to need a little bit of calm.

In counseling, we reflect lots on the past and how things are now versus how they used to be. Taking these conversations seriously and understanding how the past shapes how we see things in the present. Here is the important part: some people make it seem like the past should be buried. I hear things like, “im not who I used to be.” Now, while this can be a very good thing, I also think it has to be handled with some tender loving care. Who we were in those times was okay. how we felt in those times is okay. maybe we responded to life in a bit of an extreme manner? Maybe there was some chaos involved that made it seem like everything else in life at that time was not beautiful or ever evolving. Its really easy to almost forget about a period of time or stage in life as a defense mechanism. A painful period of time. The brain can easily take path of least resistance which would be to quickly pass over the thoughts related to things from the past that caused pain.  Back to the past. When we spend time with past thoughts, we learn to accept them. This doesn’t mean spending all of our mental energy on thinking about the past. But having some intention toward how we think about the past and how we understand it can be a bit freeing in the present.

So the days where u feel off, like something isn’t right. Like your soul isn’t on fire. Don’t take these days as a negative. Take these days as a sign from our inner that there may be needs that have to be attended to. Lots of the time, those needs involved a little tender loving care. A little extra time to be nice to ourselves. To comfort ourselves on the days that aren’t the biggest highs of feelings. Its okay to have these days. They’re equally as important as the days that are exciting and fired up. Our needs can change. If you’re dealing with these alone, realize that that is okay. When we practice giving ourselves the encouragement and comfort that we need, it only helps us understand more how to ask that from someone else. If you’re dealing with this in a close committed relationship, take this as a opportunity to communicate some needs. To lean on your loved one. To let them know that tough days are okay but you want them to be apart of all the days equally. Things will work themselves out.

Even further than that. When someone wants to talk about their past, or past events that might’ve caused them pain; take that moment as a moment of trust. a moment of vulnerability. A time for them to find some healing in their own way. Hold that gently. Its not personal to you. they trust you with those words. they trust you with those gentle parts that affected them in their own unique way. be gentle in those moments. We all are hit with the waves. they will subside. Trust that they’re temporary. Tougher moments are moments that can bring us closer. They don’t have to mean chaos.

Just thoughts this morning. Whomever needs this, I hope it helps.    

Stress Management and Recovery – A constant work in progress: Take responsibility of your health

A feel good body and mind is always what I strive for. I love to not only practice it but also give back and help others get more in tune with their body so they in turn, can feel great also.

I’ve been on this wellness Journey for about 10 years now. As you can imagine, there are many lessons learned along the way. When it comes to our bodies, we can either ignore the feedback we receive until it becomes something more serious, or we can make little adjustments along the way to ensure those little things don’t turn into big things. Here are some examples that have drastically impacted my quality of my life.

These issues and resolutions have not only helped me grow in the gym, but they’re helped me feel better for life mentally and physically:

Nervous system wrecked!!! – Too many days in a row at the gym along with too many sets to failure. I remember for years I would do 3-6 days in a row at the gym without a rest day in between. On top of that, 75% of my sets during my workout were trained to failure. Yes, i stayed very lean year round because of the vast amount of calories being burned. BUT, I experienced lots of highs and lows with energy. My nervous system recovery was all over the place. Mid day crashes, crashed sex drive, brain fog. All signs that my body was not recovering properly. I ignored these signs because I was programmed to think “grow or die, kill yourself in the gym.” So i made it a priority to leave the gym completely exhausted like I just got in a street brawl. Resolution: Today, I take rest days as needed. Rest days doesn’t mean lay on the couch. It could mean that i do walking, yoga or low nervous system stress activity to give my body a chance to heal. I lift hard 2-3 days in a row at most. Sometimes even 1 day followed by a rest day after. I listen to my body. On top of that, I only do 1 set to failure per exercise at the gym. This has allowed me to stay ahead with recovery and still give my body the response it needs to grow.

Blood sugar levels all over the place causing excess tightness, inflammation, and poor sleep/recovery. I used to eat like a maniac every single day. I thought this was the best way to grow. Sure it worked decently, but the consequences caught up to me over time. I noticed energy crashes, sluggish feelings, and when we started measuring blood sugar with a device, we noticed I was sitting on the higher end of the spectrum. Resolution: Keeping 3-4 sessions of cardio for 15-25 mins after my lifting sessions + Lowering my carbs significantly on my rest days. This made a big impact. We not only are using energy better while keeping that cardio in the mix, but lowering the carbs on my low activity days reflected on the blood sugar measurements. I notice that full body tightness, brain fog, and somewhat of a inconsistent sleep quality all started to balance out lots better. eat for the demands of your life, and keep cardio in the routine all year long. Easy. The body is meant to move. Keep it active.

Resting heart rate and sense of calm fluctuating and causing excess stress and overwhelming feelings. In the past 10 years, the amount of information, how fast we receive it, and how many distractions there are, have all gone up. This excess stimulation exhausts us mentally which then leads to lots of fluctuation in energy. Resolution: Implementing a meditation/breath practice once per day, going on social media strategically, and taking time away from the cell phone/technology. programming the body to breath slowly and enforce a practice of presence through meditation for 4 years now has brought on mental benefits every single day of my life. Its allowed me to stay more task focused, to approach things intentionally, and to really remain present which has increased quality of life. Coincidentally, overall stress levels stay pretty low and that “feel good flow state” remains more active more frequently.

Early Morning and Pre-bedtime routines. Years ago I used to stay hard charging all the way up till bedtime. Task focused and working right until the moment I was brushing my teeth and jumping into bed. I noticed sometimes it was hard to sleep, or I would not feel rested in the morning. Or i would feel like the day flew by right before my eyes. Humans today are more productive then they’ve ever been. More routine and scheduled and trending toward filling their schedules completely. This sounds admirable, but at what cost to our mental and physical health? Things really do catch up to us. Resolution: I found that when i intentionally allow time for calm to start the day and to end the day, I’m able to carry that feel good sense of calm with me at all times. I notice the heart rate staying lower. I notice my overall mood is better. These routines of calm could be as simple as sitting still and reading. Stretching. Drawling. Playing music. Taking a long hot shower. Playing with your animals. Whatever it is that brings you a sense of calm and enjoyment. Making a little time for these things to start and end the day completely gets our mind in the right place. We operate lower stress and just recover and feel better for life. I personally like to take espom salt baths sometimes, dim the lights, light a candle, turn the temperature in my place down a bit, use my massage gun and just sit in some stillness.. journal.. little bit of netflix. depends. Either way, its special to allow for these little activities of self love.

All 4 of these situations are things that I had to bring constant awareness to which helped me develop some routines that i could discipline myself to which lead to better recovery and better mental and physical health. I’m programmed at this point to really listen to my body. to not be afraid to take an extra day off the gym. To think a little bit more into what the demands of my body are depending on how I’m training. It sounds so simple. Give the body what it needs. It takes time through implementing new practices consistently. Thats the key. Consistently. You are able to develop results that you can do something with when you put it to play CONSISTENTLY.

A balance of standing and sitting. Keeping mobility practices in your routine. Finding moments of calm. Controlling yourself with eating. Working hard in the gym but taking enough rest days. Staying in tune with your breathing and bringing focus to it when situations get stressful. Sitting with an upright posture. Taking breaks from your cell phone. keeping your head up and engaging with other humans. Sleep schedule consistency.

The list goes on. Develop data through consistency. No one can absolutely tell you what Is meant for you. What you can do is try something for a period of time, and make adjustments according to how you feel.