I naturally love to observe social environments and the way people respond. None of this is possible if i was staring at the ground and walking with an avoidant posture as i proceed in a public place. Why do some humans have a tendency when they’re approaching someone to stare at the ground or stare at their cell phone; to avoid eye to eye contact with the incoming stranger that is walking in their direction? Is it a fear of rejection, fear of judgment, a sprinkle of social anxiety, lack of confidence, or a blend of psychological ques that influence one to pull away versus leaning in to social interaction? What if I told you, our goal to enter into a public situation was to learn. To observe. To save the cell phone for a private situation and dive into human engagement. What if every single time we stepped out of our home, it was an opportunity to learn or to acknowledge others and make their day just a percent better. This is actually how it was because technology and screens became familiar. It wasn’t “weird” to smile at someone, or to say hi to them. it was more familiar and can still be familiar. And its no coincidence that when you practice these things today, you will stand out and someone will not forget that interaction.
Its a common agreement that we need interaction as humans. Look at when the electricity went out here in our area for 3-7 days. No screens. No charged up cell phones. People got outside and actually say with each other because they didn’t want to sit in a dark home or apartment. It encouraged us to interact. We have a pull to belong. No matter who we are. We can only pull away for so long until the soul feels a sense of emptiness because we aren’t given back or share our experience with others. You can only go so long with no physical touch, no communication or acknowledgement. its not a void. its human nature to connect.
Lets come back to the title of this article. i have gained a very good sense of situational awareness by simply trying everything and putting it to experiment. I have waved enthusiastically hi to someone, to a more mellow hi, to a more in better combination. All sorts of tones of voices and distances from people. sometimes you get looked at like a weirdo. sometimes people light up and smile back. sometimes people engage very well. and sometimes they step away. its a mix of everything. just imagine if no one else said hi to each other anywhere. we just all got locked into our own worlds where we didn’t look at anyone, never acknowledged anyone, and we all just walked around hunched over staring at the ground when we walked around? Its not to say that we aren’t busy. but even when you’re waiting in line somewhere for 5-10 minutes, there are several situations where interaction doesn’t need to necessarily take time of of your day. im simply talking about engagement in the flow of how you’re already operating during that time of day. not needing to have a 10 minute conversation with everyone you come into contact with. But when you’re checking out at the self checkout at the grocery store, to maybe smile at the person next to you and say hi to the worker who stands over there alone with no acknowledgement and simply just observing the transactions taking place.
How much nicer would it be if you left public situations where people were respectful, say hi, and made you feel a sense of connection?
Again, its not like everyone needs to be our best friend and be invited in our houses. But the word “friendly” does mean something pretty significant when it has good intentions.
A friendly atmosphere.
Who knows who you’re going to meet next? Who knows the impact you may have on someone else. Who knows what sort of connection, or learning opportunity you are about to dive into.
but none of that occurs if you stare at the ground, eyes deep in the cell phone from the parking lot to the door, or when you walk past oncoming humans when you walk down the street and decide to act like you have a text message to check; so you stare at your phone just to avoid the human heading your direction.
Question: What posture do you carry in public when you leave the front doors of your home?
Question: How would you interact in public if your cell phone didn’t exist?
Hope this gets you thinking. Really a goal of lots of my posts are to bring about observations, and in turn can get you thinking and influence some sort of loop breaking action that can create new experiments in itself for your life. Maybe they will help you. maybe not. but a blend of perspective will no doubt help you.
its no doubt that interaction leaves you with a good feeling. it requires an intentional decision to engage with another human. we are meant to build, work, and interact. make it more familiar in your life and feel more fulfilled. help others a bit more. step out of your own bubble and make it about someone other than yourself. step into that soul category and make a sacrifice to make the world around you better.
THE_HUMAN_EXPERIMENT1993 