People have automatic responses. Impulsive. Instant. Things that come out without a clear concise reasoning. But these responses that come out of their mouths or through their nonverbal communication tell us a lot about that individual.
ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS
I was at the store the other day getting fitted for a tuxedo. One employee was flattering me. Making the experience enjoyable. Highlighting my measurements of my body and proceeding to tell me that I have an ideal figure. One shaped like a “Dorito.” strong chest and shoulders and small waist. We were laughing and having a good time. I was enjoying the experience and felt seen and it was overall very present.
Moments later: another employee around the corner heard us talking, and proceeded to say “enjoy the Dorito shape while it lasts.” She had a smirk on her face and sort of brushed off the comment. She proceeds to stare me down and wouldn’t stop staring at me. I became slightly uncomfortable. I responded with “my father and my grandfather at 87 still continue to have a Dorito shaped body. Pretty awesome huh I think we’re going to be okay.” She then had no response. She continued to fold clothes and had no look of happiness on her face. I proceeded with the employee that i was working with and there seemed to be a strange lingering energy. I saw that the lady that commented on our situation: she proceeded to talk with another couple moments later. She continued to speak about herself. So much that i really don’t feel this couple could get any words out of their mouths. I don’t even feel like they felt engaged or valued at that point. I witnessed this and thought “can this lady invest into the consumer’s experience? How does she not see herself making it all about herself right now? She felt the need to judge our situation. interject into it. and now she is proceeding with another couple by telling her life story to them.
We must distance ourself from individuals that are unaware of their insecurities or unprocessed emotions that they then put onto others. They can not get out of their own world. they do not know how to step out of the main character in the story roll. They proceed to engage in convo with defensiveness or the need to comment and judge others. I do understand that this individual is not able to step out of her own world and see from other people’s shoes based on her current mindset. It still brings up a good point: avoid feeding into this conversation. because you are now opening a door for the value set/mindset of her to be judged onto you. And it never feels good to get that sort of judgement. Instead: we can simply keep it open. not giving our opinion on any matters. Being curious. Asking questions. Not investing our own testimony or stuff into the convo which will then open up room for judgement. Be an observer if you have to be in an environment with this energy. you will leave feeling even more empowered if you refrain from engaging. Be respectful. Be kind. But do not share the sacred special details. These details are only meant for a small circle of people in our lives. It doesn’t mean we should shut people out. its realizing boundaries and what can and cant be shared with others. Valuable practice here. Its brought me lots of peace. When you’re around someone who is not a fan of you or can not relate to you, you must refrain from sharing YOUR STUFF. because YOUR STUFF will then be put on the table and POOPED ON. hahahaha. Our stuff is meant for people openly asking and being curious to what our stuff is about.
MUST BE NICE. LUCKY YOU. WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE
What does his response initially feel like when you hear it? Acknowledgement with a little snap to it? You have been heard, but there is a little bit of a internalized comment coming from the opposing party. Why would we say “must be nice” versus, “that’s awesome, or that’s pretty cool.” The tone of voice usually accompanied by these phrases have a low vibration energy to them as well. When i was your age. Meaning lots of the time: things i used to do to maintain or grow _________, but with no proper taking responsibility of things in the present which have that individual far from that value mindset than what he or she was in the past. Usually you hear this response in an envious manner. Im not saying all of the time. But i hear it lots with fitness. “when i was your age, i was in shape.” cant tell you how many times ive heard that. or “wait till you get to my age.”… now im not discrediting the beautiful process of our bodies minds deteriorating. We are meant to fall apart. Our physical existence is limited. However: Normally the individuals ive witnessed that say things like: luck you, when i was your age, or must be nice: vibrate low energy and are NOT DOING THE THINGS to maintain or achieve optimal results in whatever manner they’re describing this situation in. here is an example: someone very overweight tells me, “back when i was your age.” but they’re not exercising even 1 day per week at the moment. WELL NO DUH you won’t look like me. I exercise like 8 times per week. and you do not exercise even once… Now maybe its not physically possible for you to be at my level because of age.. but does that mean that we quit because its harder than it used to be?
Its the simply process of Maintenace. Maintenance with your car. with your house. with your relationships. They take intention. Planned out effort. scheduled time for ________. its all about where we place our time.
Back to the point of the article: once again when you come across these individuals, be careful what information you share with them. You most likely will not get a “biggest fan” response but one that has more judgement and envy put into the response. Again, that judgement can linger. its energy than sits with you and brings you down. there is no place for it.
Im not saying that we have to exile or avoid these individuals at all costs. this is a imperfect world. You will be around people like this. Its just awareness to what type of conversation you’re having with these ones. more surface level. Maybe letting them speak about their stuff, and when it comes to you: lay back and keep it a bit more brief.
Because why are we trying to gain approval from this individual? Are we trying to gain approval too often in general? Not everyone needs to be our friend. Not everyone needs to like us. not everyone needs to know things about us.
A power intention to focus on to bring more peace in your life.
Be a better observer. Because you know what? When you run into other individuals like yourself that a genuinely good people, they will invest into you. you will take notice and you will start investing into them. we have now created a harmonious quality social interaction. Let those unfold… only done so by investing into others first. being curious. wait until they really want to know more.
THE_HUMAN_EXPERIMENT1993 