I like to step back once in awhile and think about the potential impact (good or bad) from things I recurringly do on a daily basis. I reflected recently on the idea: Do we put a higher sense of urgency on a text message than we should? At what cost? What even is the expectation for texting communication? What do urgencies do to us mentally?
Attending immediately to the phone is a reinforcement to our brain that we need to check the phone even more frequently because we’re “missing out” on something. When we do so, this is quite literally telling ourselves, “what we’re doing right now is not as important as _____.” That action over and over creates an expectation that we’ve set for ourselves. Now, its became more regular and habitual.
Don’t get me wrong: There are situations where important information is being exchanged back and forth that may have a sense of urgency to it. context right. I’m talking here about casual conversation. thoughts. plans. ideas. Think about the benefit of waiting at least 30 minutes. Or think about the times where you’ve seen a text message and reading it immediately sparked up an emotion or impulse within you to respond. this is the awareness moment that should trigger us to step back and wait. sit on it. let the emotion balance out. respond when the thoughts are collected and not dropped in 5 straight impulsive texts back toward the individual you’re communicating with.
It’s similar to conversation in person. think about all of the times you’ve given thoughts some space. Letting them do their work within that complex brain up there. sometimes when you wait 30 minutes, you’ve got a more collected better answer than the immediate emotion that could potentially be involved in that response.
Even further: a delayed response on a text message does come off as a bit more mature. It comes off as “they value their time very highly so whatever they’re doing, they’re fully immersed into it,” and I respect that highly.
Think about this: do we have expectations with how long it should take for someone to reply? Should we even have an expectation? Even goes further to say: if there is a lingering expectation in your head, isn’t that going to further disappoint you since the other person can’t read your mind?
Its sort of something that is left unsaid at this day and age. we go: call twice in case do not disturb is on if its an EMERGENCY. But how many times have you called someone and then a couple hours later they respond with a “what sup.” No returned phone call. is that disrespectful? or is that an expectation we have put into our head in this tech age?
All good thoughts here since this is a real part of how humans communicate today.
Long story short: When we wait to respond to a text, it allows us to gather thoughts and put something into words that we may be more proud of; we took the time to balance out the emotion and reason of what is about to be said, and in turn may create a more quality conversation.
Lets switch to the big benefit of delaying this sort of activity: more focus toward your present moment activity. More reinforcement to your brain that you’re able to focus on one thing at a time and be present for that activity. I was told prior by a business owner, “we want to stay out of the urgency category.” The urgency category sky rockets our heart rate, blood pressure and overall mental energy/fatigue. its not that everything needs to be perfectly planned. its just that we can agree that emergencies are not that most fun to deal with. That wasn’t a shot toward EMT or emergency medical individuals. Stay patient with me here and lets take that concept and apply it to our personal lives.
Less urgencies mean less anxiety. more presence. more calm.
Does it need to be done right now?
Can this wait?
If everything was an urgency, we would be walking around losing our minds.
Anxiety could be framed a little more toward thinking that we need to do something when in reality: nothing needs to be done.
Interesting perspective right there.
All thoughts.
THE_HUMAN_EXPERIMENT1993 