Masturbation is an addition that sort of gets thrown under the table as not a big deal, but is actually highly abused as a release to life’s stressors, and actually has some serious mental side effects that lots of people aren’t aware of. Life gets stressful. go and release. Have a time block of nothing to do, Go and release. Laying in bed, Go and release. Facing an emotional challenge, Go and release. Sometimes getting to the point of happening many times per day for some. This is a topic that no one wants to speak about, but the side effects are actually pretty intense.
Resistance to temptation. this is not being practiced when the simplest thing that can be done is go to the bathroom or our bedroom and release. why even deal with a situation when we have a cheat code to go access some please despite the pain or challenge that we’re facing in front of us. now that you released, are you better fit? Have you moved forward past the challenge at hand? have you actually death with the stress at hand? Not really. you just escaped from reality for a quick second. Why even resist being faithful to our partners when we’ve programmed ourselves to chase this pleasure the moment it arises? where is the delayed gratification and resistance to temptations?
not sure about you, but afterward, nothing feels better than just sleeping. checking out even more from the moment. life is tough, go release, and then take a nap. acting like everything is going to be better when we wake up. not really. I challenge you this: next time you have the urge, judge the situation based off how hard it is to not go and do it. is this your automatic response? To get home after work, or to release before bed. or even mid day on a lunch break. whenever that moment happens to be. is it this uncontrollable addiction that we use to fill space and simply reduce potential anxiety that we are not facing? where is the internal dialogue? Are we not even thinking about things or letting them go, but instead finding ways to distract ourselves from reality?
lets talk about being de sensitized. now that you’ve released on your own several times over the course of the week, how does that affect the outlook you have on you are your partner’s relationship? what does that say about the act of sexual activities between the two of you? What does this say about the way that you perceive your partner? Or even this: can your partner tell when you haven’t released in awhile versus when you regularly do it on your own? Think about sexual acts as something that is shared between two humans. Two trusting humans. built up and experienced over time. delayed gratification. But where is the appreciation if its so simply to just go grab our cell phones, watch porn and release at any time that we please? think about how quick that puts the mindset into: i need this now and im going to do whatever it takes to get it. Think about how that changes the perception on how you view you partner or what you expectations are when you even meet up with someone for the first time. what if sex wasn’t what we thought about when we interacted with someone? actually building, investing into them, and working toward quality engagement. versus being brainwashed by our 10 sessions this week of masturbation and then putting that mentality toward our engagement with the opposite sex.
Think about how excited, full of energy, and driven you feel when you haven’t released on your own in awhile. there is more a drive from a primal standpoint. sex drive is real. and if we can wait on it, we can take that sex drive energy and dose some of that energy into our other endeavors and then next thing we know: We are supercharged toward other activities. Think about if you resisted from releasing, and let the focus on your engagement be on pleasures of other types. the pleasure of sight, taste, seeing, feeling. Its not doubt that the very frequent releases cause an overload to our dopamine reward system when we constantly are checking out and accessing our own pleasure. one that wasn’t worked for. one that we can just walk away and do on our own. NOW: LIFE IS DULL this afternoon. because nothing steps up to the plate for the pleasure of porn and masturbation on your lunch break. Now, i don’t have a reason to spark up a convo or have excitement toward the simpler things. I set the bar so high for my brain to recognize pleasure or even desire it.
Have you ever tried to delay releases for days or even a week? Give it a try and see how you feel. What does releasing say about the type of love that you’re reaching for? Are you even able to let love do its natural wonder, or is there a constant expectation of orgasm because of how you programmed yourself to need to release every single day, or even multiple times a day? What does that pleasure response you’re giving yourself so frequently say about the pleasure that you’re reaching for in your relationship? Is it jading your mind? Is it manipulating you into seeing your partner as an object that can just fulfill your releasing?
Lets move over more to the mental side: Now, you’re sitting there thinking: I just cant stop this routine. I’ve made it routine in my life to the point where I’ve done it 50 times in a row at the same time. And why don’t i just stop? Its because you can’t. your body now desires pleasure in one way and one way only. you programmed your brain and now its a full out addiction. now, you’re feeling anxiety just thinking about it because you are not able to stop.
porn: The perception on sex. the aggression. the link of depression and porn viewing time. loneliness. low life satisfaction. poor self esteem. all things that people have reported of feeling when you do a little bit of a google search. but you don’t need to do a google search if you have personally experienced this.
that’s right. no one wants to talk about this. but its a real thing. and lots of people suffer from it, or have suffered from it during different stages in their lives. and now that some have become so addicted, they don’t even have the energy or desire toward their relationships because they have abused this and caused such a deep desensitized perception.
What is the actual standard of sexual acts in the bedroom? That depends on you and your partner’s own private conversation. something you two communicate about. from a loving standpoint or an even a more animalistic standpoint. its not doubt that we have our moments of wild, intense, crazy love, and also our slower, more romantic, taking our time with things type love. This flow can be communicated. this flow can be a way to connect deeply when letting each other into where our mindset is… but guess what doesn’t help this mutual engagement? frequent porn use and the frustration you have because your partner is not just some flying trapeze artist that hangs from the ceiling, does a backflip off the dresser, and crawls toward you like a hunger tiger, and finishes up the act by doing the stone cold stunner right onto your genitalia.… hahahahah nothing wrong with that. things can get wild. but c’mon man. you get where I’m coming from here. Perception. the act of sex. what if this could be experienced at a higher level of pleasure simply from waiting on sharing this type of pleasure with just your partner? what does it mean to you? How do you approach it? Do you have conversations with your partner about this? this is very normal and can be a open understanding conversation. but frequent porn use changes the way you view these acts, changes the way you view your partner in the equation, and desensitizes your pleasure that can be shred intimately and uniquely between you two.
you ever just feel like crap like 30-60 seconds after releasing on your own? Sitting there like, “whatever, guess that wasn’t really worth it.” reenforcing the loneliness that you were already experiencing. its a thing. there is lots of mental things going on that you are not even aware of. the fact that the release sensation is a bit vulnerable. a desire for us to be next to someone and touching someone. holding them or being held. there is a very vulnerable psychological moment after releasing that occurs. look up the science. i don’t need to blow your mind with fancy vocabulary.
long story short: be aware of how frequently you are doing it. maybe cut back on it. let your body reset. let things balance back out. moderation with all things right? We’ve learned this in many different aspects of our life. it really does apply to so many different things. all of it adds up. all of it counts toward the whole. look at all of these actions as a percentage of the whole. oh, maybe im doing ________ a bit too many times. and guess what: that is going to have some effects, consequences, pros, cons, etc… just another taking responsibility for our lives thing here. pay attention to all of it.
all thoughts.
THE_HUMAN_EXPERIMENT1993 