Exhausted. Aching from head to toe. Flu like symptoms. Weakness felt from standing up, opening the door, walking up stairs. Low energy to even speak. Throat is tired. Eyes hard to stay open. Multiple moments of feeling like crying during the day. Overwhelming anxiety for no apparent reason. Waking up in the morning and feeling like you didn’t even sleep. Partially isolated from other humans because of lacking energy to engage or put forth emotional energy. Pulling over on the side of the road after work because of almost crashing my car from being so exhausted. Taking a fast nap in my vehicle every chance I can get to regain mental clarity. Operating on such low calories for weeks on end and continually dropping them lower and lower.
Still have to do 45 minutes of cardio a day. Still have to work 40 hours at work. Still have to lift at the gym. Still have to get 5 meals in. Still have to get 2 gallons of water in. Still have to do stretching/tissue work. Still have to practice posing routines.
Above was a brief context of what the last 2 weeks of competition prep feels like to get stage ready for a bodybuilding/physique show.
Currently I’m 7 days out from the NPC Columbus Championships. You might be asking yourself, “why would you put yourself through all the struggle? Why would you make life 10 times harder and put yourself through so much physical and mental struggle?”
There are always lessons and perspective to be learned from commitments and struggles. Like my Brother Aris said:
“believe it or not, you’re building up your resilience. If you keep enduring and climbing through, on the other side of the mountain you’ll realize how much more you’re capable of because of what you put yourself through.”
I’ve loved fitness for a long time. It started with lifting weights in high school. I then began to look at the food/training a bit more seriously as I approached the end of college. By the time I came out of college, I was really get a grasp on everything related to fitness. Cross training, explosiveness, bodybuilding, powerlifting, cycling, boxing, orange theory, 5k races, swimming, and you name it. I tried several forms of training, different tempos, different styles of lifting and tried eating different ways (high fat, high carb, high protein, moderate protein, heavy amounts of greens, paleo, etc). It’s taken a long time to realize where my middle ground is. Where I personally like to operate and flow. I gained all of this experience and it better helps me put more intention and goal focused efforts toward what I do.
Now, for the past few years, I’ve been more focused on bodybuilding. I’ve packed on lots of muscle and continued to keep my caloric intake high. I finally thought it was time to put the bodybuilding lifestyle to the test. Coaching has always been something I’ve been fascinated with and I knew a great way to gain credentials was to commit to excellence, and to be able to say I did it. I wanted To do this prep to prove that I can stay committed to the plan, but I also wanted to do this prep because I wanted to take something with me that I’ll forever have. That I hope I can affect others with. To realize I resisted when it was hardest. Delayed gratification. To still get the job done when things didn’t feel right. To prepare and plan ahead so I was setup for success. Sticking to the plan.
If we did things when it felt right, lots of the time, it would not get done. This is something huge that I’ve reflected on for a long time now. How do I battle this? I make sure there is a plan in place. I love to use my calendar on my phone and my reminders tab. Both places that allow me to put a date and accountability on something. Just being able to check that off and know where and when its going to be done, leaves no room for anxiety. trust the plan you put into place. This goes with cooking, plans with friends, personal tasks, and you name it. How do we plan to remember all of these things we have to get done? The overwhelming thoughts and anxiety that comes along with it all can be eliminated when there is plan in place. We create a known. Creating knowns in my life has been a huge step forward for me. It allows me to have intention and take action in the ways that are impactful and meaningful to me.
I know some of my isolation on prep has caused me to remain a bit more quiet. A bit more low energy. Not on purpose or for any reason personal to anyone else. Only for the reason that I’m trying as much as I can to keep my cool. I’m trying to not react harshly. I’m trying not to treat anyone with disrespect. Sometimes for me, that comes off in the form of quietness and stepping back from the situation completely. Some may view that as emotionless or distant.. some may view it as mature and considerate.. It could be a blend of both. I don’t mean for either to be 100% true, but only to know that I want to finish this and check every box on the list. ‘
How do you want to look back at things in 3 months and remember them by? I try to keep this intention close.
I want to give my best. This is all that matters. My best effort.
THE_HUMAN_EXPERIMENT1993 