What is it
According to Kendra Cherry from “Delayed Gratification and Impulse Control” (verywellmind.com), The Stanford Marshmallow Experiment What discovered, “that the kids who were able to delay gratification had a number of advantages later on over the kids who simply could not wait. The children who had waited for the treat performed better academically years later than kids that ate the treat right away. Those who delayed their gratification also displayed fewer behavioral problems and later had much higher SAT scores.1”
We all know this doesn’t just apply to children. Take a look around you. Observe the patterns of habits of humans in your surrounding.
Sometimes it is easy to make a quick instant decision based off of the feeling of the unknown since finding that desired comfort is a natural defense mechanism.
It’s easy. It’s convenient. Its fast. A few popular phrases I hear pretty often from humans. A few phrases that are reenforced by the services and products that lots of companies are offering today (uber, door dash, smoothies, fast food joints, tik tock and other social media platforms, self checkout at grocery stores, algorithms with websites that ask you survey questions to adjust the adds you see, 30 second abs and magical weight loss pills, pharmaceutical drugs in lots of instances…. It can be hard when surrounded by all of these instant gratifications to realize that its okay to drag things out. its okay to wait. its okay to trust the process and for things to take 2,3,6,12 months to improve. Quick is most of the time not the long term solution. its an instant answer that comes with other side effects.
What happens when we don’t have instant results but expect instant results? Overwhelming feelings start to arise..so how do we move forward?
“we don’t know when these long-term rewards will arrive—or even if they will ever arrive.”
We must CREATE and TRUST realistic timeframes/Deadlines
A prime example is my competition prep that I’m currently on for a Men’s physique show. This requires 16 weeks of strict dieting, training, sleep, tissue work, stretching, and posing practice
Sounds extreme and very overwhelming doesn’t it?
Currently, I have about 5 weeks left until my show. I’ve been sticking to the plan for 11 weeks already. Here is my testimony thus far:
Before this started, everything had to be broken down into chunks to make things less overwhelming. Several chunks. for EX: 35 specific meals a week-5 meals per day-grocery store twice per week-cooking twice per week-cooking at 8PM-9:30 at night each time-keeping a cooler bag/ice pack to take meals on the go. the system is CREATED. It now appears more realistic and more manageable. So I TRUST this timeline. I therefore create less feelings of overwhelming thoughts because I do not have any variables that are unknown. I know what 5 meals I will eat each day. I know they will accelerate my fat loss and help me come closer to my goals. I don’t even have to THINK about what they’re doing.
This is not easy. This is not quick. This is not Fast. BUT, 1.5 hours of cooking twice a week does sound easy correct? How about 8+ hours on the cell phone per day that I observe on some people’s “iPhone usage category.” Time consuming huh? This really puts things into perspective.
SO now what?
INTENTION. One of my favorite words. When we focus on intention, we break the pattern of our automatic response such as finding quick comfort or quick answers/solutions. Intention reminds us WHY we are choosing to do what we are doing. Again, when I feel overwhelmed, I focus on deep breathing for a solid 30-60 seconds and I remind myself that I am taking care or those little “chunks” of the plan and I remind myself that I trust the process. It is normal to worry. It is normal to have doubts. BUT, the power of intention and trusting the process is by far STRONGER.
WHERE DO I START?
Take a look at your life and the things that are repetitive. The things you do every single day. The things you choose frequently. Ask yourself, “is this giving me the results that I NEED in my life?”
It won’t feel good at times. It won’t be easy to face head on. Own the feeling. Own the moment. Breathe slowly for 30-60 seconds and be proud that you didn’t respond instantly. Be proud to feel overwhelmed. Be proud to wait on that feeling to subside. Find the manageable amount of chunks needed to make your decisions less overwhelming. Break it down into 30 pieces if need be. We all have a different amount of chunks that we need to focus on to make things seem more manageable. Maybe it takes putting all 30 steps on your reminders tab on your phone and checking them off as you complete them during the day. This is what I do at times, and this is very EMPOWERING to know that Im getting small WINS. The small chunks are wins. They’re progression. They’re what we need to know and trust that the process is working.
Accept this statement: It’s always going to be hard. Either way.
We view the word “hard” as overwhelming or not worth it. How about we shift that perspective and decide to think, “I want it to be hard. I want it to be challenging.”
Watch your entire life change when you can shift the paradigm life has made us believe which is: Life quick, live easy, live fast, instant this… switch it to: Be patient, wait, trust your process, its the little things, day in and day out, it takes years, today matters and it starts today.
I’ve watched all of these things transform my life. I just want to see the same for others.
THE_HUMAN_EXPERIMENT1993 